Man versus Assembly Guides.

If a man buys something what needs to be assembled, the assembly guides are of no use to him. These will be discarded together with the empty box. The screws, bolts, nuts or any small assembly materials he usually misses because these are normally packed separately at the inside of the box.

A man with his superior brain capacity can already visualize how the end product should look like even when everything is unpacked and lays scattered around the kitchen floor.

His wife started making a hesitant remark about his choice of work space as she wants to make diner. With his enormous experience and technical advanced brain, he tells his wife to give him just five minutes and then this will be done.

As he shuffles the parts around, he discovers that they did not supply any screws and bolts to fit the part together. He scolds his wife about the stupidity of the supplier, by not including bolts and nuts. How can an intelligent man assemble something without bolts and nuts! 

 

He goes to his garage where he keeps a big box with all kinds of screw, bolts and nuts, and carries the box into the kitchen. He dumps the whole content on the kitchen floor, looking for screws, bolts and nuts that might fit the parts.

His wife makes another timid remark about the possibility that the screws, bolt and the nuts he needs might still be in the box. He insists that he is sure there were no bolts or nuts in the box and he already threw the box in the trash bin outside.

After five minutes of rummaging through the pile of bolts and nuts on the kitchen floor, he found a few bolts and nuts that might fit the purpose. He starts fitting the recognizable parts together and goes back to the garage to get a spanner to tighten these parts. After returning to the garage three more times to get the right spanner to fit the different type of bolts and nuts he choose, he needs a break.

While the man takes his break, the wife conscious about the time flying, goes to the kitchen and tries to make an easy meal as there is no space to move around. Assembly parts, bolts, nuts and spanners lying all over the kitchen floor.

As she is busy finishing the simple meal, she decides to go to the rubbish bin and make sure that her man did not miss anything. Not that she don’t trust him but just in case. At the rubbish bin she opens the box which her man discarded there.

At her surprise she finds a small box inside the big box and as she opens it, all kind of screws, bolts, nuts and other small items are inside. At the bottom of the small box a booklet is attached. She takes the booklet and started reading. At her amazement she noticed that this is an instruction booklet on how to assemble her man’s project.

She ran back into the house and when she got in the living room her husband was fast asleep on the couch. She stopped and looked at her piece full sleeping man. She slowly walked back to the kitchen and put the box on the kitchen counter and looked at the mess on the floor.

She got a broom and swept everything in one corner except the assembly parts. She kneels on the floor and started at the first page of the assembly booklet and laid out all the parts in the right order. She took the little box from the counter and found that even the appropriate tools where included to fasten bolts and screws.

She started to put everything together as the booklet explained. In about 30 min everything was completed and she looked proudly to the end result.

She reheated her simple meal and woke up her man and gave him his food. When he was finished eating she asked him to follow her to the kitchen. As he walked in, he saw the finished product standing on the kitchen floor. He looked puzzled at his wife, and said “did I do that”?

For Him:

Piece of Ass. (Shooter)

½ ounce Absolute Wodka
½ ounce Spearmint Schnapps
½ ounce White Sambucca

Pour into shot glass.

For Her:

Why Not. (Cocktail) 

1 ounce Apricot Brandy 

1 ounce Gin
½ ounce dry Vermouth
Dash of lemon juice

Place all ingredients along with a scoop of ice in a cocktail shaker.

Shake vigorously to mix. 

Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.