Language mutilator.

My friend Whim Sical.

I met Whim about a time ago in my much-loved bar. A beer standing in front of me and was minding my own industry. The stool next to me was bare and that’s were Whim sat down. He regimented also a pint and we started talking about balderdash because that is what people do in public houses.

He made a real crack, to sound fascinating and I was really interested to perceive what he had to say. I found him quirky, original and unconventional and sometimes surprisingly unusual. He was a ballyhoo type of a person and his bodacious posture was not cantankerous to me.

We talked about pragmatically concerns which arise when drinking beer. Whim suggested that if too much tipple was frenzied you could hear the sound of borborymus which sometimes absquatulate in disarray. As he possesses a shapely callipygian, this could be factual. I was on tenterhooks hoping that he was not developing borborymus as this could give an unpleasant effluvium. 

The one thing cantankerous to me is to cause ballyhoo especially with my favorite factotum in attendance. She could easily and erroneously incarcerate me for the culprit.

For the last month I was ca hooting secretly with her and had a somewhat concupiscent desire towards her. I also hoped that in the near future I could set up a summit and have some debauchery. 

I really possessed the fallibility that I was mistaken and Whim did not have an atypical urge.

To counter act my trepidation I became more loquacious and made Whim a suggestion to be more abstemious especially with alcohol. 

Alcohol is an organic compound in which the hydroxyl functional group is bound to a carbon atom; particular in Whims case this could be fatal for me.

Luckily for me some bindle stiff walked in and kept my favourite factotum full of activity. The worry about the absquatulation of Whim’s borborymus subsided a bit. At least I could respire and drink some of my snifter. 

The bindle stiff caterwauled in protest as the factotum broadly and firmly cohere him and fling him outside before anybody could yowl about it and cause a farrago.

My favorite factotum returned to her station, I glanced at her face and could see her copacetic smile. I ordered another nip and was fearful to ask Whim, if he would like a further one too.

My most wanted factotum said to us that she was a no gibberish person and took no hokum and was used to covenant with jackanapes, tatterdemalion or ragamuffin people. I looked at her dangling festoon which made me flummoxed. I am not a flibbertigibbet but at that moment it made me imbroglio.

She went on to help a new punter and wished I could lollygag her a bit but I understood she did not have a concupiscent desire towards me.

I didn't want to disappear in a higgledy-piggledy manner but I think it was point in time to go to my domicile. I refined my half and said to Whim it is not your foible but I feel not loquacious anymore and that I was lackadaisical so I wanted to abscond. 

As I stood up, all of a sudden I sniffed that cockamamie effluvium and felt hoodwinked. I am sure he was a pusillanimous pettifogger and a ragamuffin. Actually I wanted to go and overlook him. Hopefully next time he felt better.

Gobbledygook.


For my most wanted factotum:

A Majestic Rivet:




One part of Chambord (Black Raspberry Liqueur)
Two parts of orange juice.







  Photo from Wikipedia


For my friend Whim Sical:

A Soweto Toilet:

Almost fill a tot glass with Banana liquor.
Drip in a teaspoon or so of Amarula.
Top with a few drops of creme de cacao
It looks pretty grim, but tastes quite nice actually.

Photo from Scott Krog (Pinterest)